OO! Me so evil....
by Annabelle Peach
Summary: This is 5th year from Draco's point of view. PG for potential evil-ness. ^^ Its funny, in a sadistic, Draco kind of way. Alot of assumption and spoilers. Its not exactly by the book, but what the hec. Its all good,ne? =)
1. Prelude- some evilness before the story ...

(notes: I CANT SPELL. PLEASE dont   
flame about that. Im well aware. Also, read   
the numbers before you flame, OK? thats all  
I ask.^^ more at the bottem. This is in   
Draco'sPOV, so it may get a little evil...  
hence the title.^^)  
  
OO! Me so evil...  
Draco's point of view (God help us all)  
~Prelude~  
  
Its 4:59 a.m. And Im awake. That alone is   
worth writing about! Usually I get woken up   
by-  
  
"DRACO MALFROY! YOU GET UP   
RIGHT NOW!!!"  
  
-my dad yelling at the top of his lungs to wake   
me up. Its 5 a.m. Gooooooooooood morning   
Vietnam (1)...er....Malfroy mansion! Hmm...  
next item of buesness...oh yah, getting dressed.   
Wont get to detailed here, my most sincere   
aplologies to you infatuated young ladies out   
there (Hehe heh! Wouldnt be Draco without   
the vain-ness. You gotta love him. ^^), but cant   
go out in my pajamas, now, can I? Ok, done   
with that. Oh yah! did I mention todays the first   
day of school?  
  
Well, it is. Back on a train to be shipped back to   
Hogwarts. The headmaster is loony, I tell you.   
Absolutly nuts! What sane person would have   
enough patence to keep a beard that long!? Can   
you imagine shampooing that thing? Adn then,of   
cource, theres Potter and his Pose.  
  
You all know who Harry Potter is,right? Of cource   
you do! You know, the one with the freaky scar....  
yah,him. Anyway, I tryed to be nice to the kid. I really   
tryed. I evin invited him to be my friend the verry   
first day of school. But did he agree? Of cource not!   
Rather hang out with Flame Head and Fuzz Ball.   
Whats up with that?   
  
And you know, they make me out to be a really horrible   
guy. Like,all evil or something. Im not! Really! I like all   
the normal stuff. Just like any other kid. Good looking girls.   
Uh...nice looking girls. Friends. Girls. All the normal stuff.   
What do they expect me to say, "Hello Im draco Malfroy   
and I like water lillies and pansies and roses and walks on   
the beach.*sniff sniff* Get me my lipstick and spandex (2),   
would you"? Dream on, Potter!  
  
But Im off track again. Hogwarts. Thats what I was talking   
about. I think. Well, Hogwarts is wierd. They dont evin teach   
the Dark Arts. I mean, iv been learning that stuff sence I could   
talk. And most of thiese kids dont evin know the unforgivable   
curces! And im going back ther. Again.  
  
Im a fith year now. Its wierd, fith-year-ness. You would think   
Id feel a bit difrent about it than fourth-yar-ness, or   
third-year-ness. But I dont. same old fealing. Being marched   
off the the patato stacks.(thats an old saying meaning being   
forced to go somewhere.)  
  
The thing that bothers me most about ol Hogie-Warts, though,   
is the teachers. Mc Gonnagall knows her stuff, but shes so stiff.   
The woman needs to party or something. Now THAT is an i  
nteresting thought. Moody, he was the DADA teacher last year.   
Hate that guy. He transfigured me into a waesel! Grr to him.   
Hagrid....that guy- or rather, half-giant - really shoudnt evin be   
teaching. You should have seen the things hes brought!   
Blast-Ended Skewrts. Cringe. The reast, they are in the middle.   
A bad place to be, if you ask me. Theres only one kinda-cool   
teacher there! One.  
  
Now, how did you guess I was gonna say Snape? Hes cool   
because he never yells at me. I get good grades in there for   
doing horrible work. Hes only kinda cool, though, because   
hes a trader to the Dark Lord.I think Doumledore drugged him   
or something.  
  
Oh, darn it, Iv lost track again. What is it that I should be   
doing....  
  
"DRACO MALFROY, YOU GET YOUR REAR IN THE   
LIMO THIS INSANT!"  
  
Oh yah! Count on good Ol' Dad to remind you of what you   
gotta do.   
  
Caio!  
  
  
  
(Notes: OK, heres the numbers:  
1)"goooooooood morning Vietnam"- thats from a movie,   
'Good morning Vietnam'. Its a really great one about a DJ in   
the Vietnam War. No offence ment.  
2)"Get me my lipstick and spandex"- thats from this one guy's   
impression of Dark Bear (from Care Bears) transformation to   
Pansy Bear. He's all diobalicle one second and the next he's,   
well, Pansy Bear. Its a joke: no offence ment.  
  
Ok, did you like it? I hope so. Im not used to writing first   
person, so this may get evin wierder. Eeep. ^^  
  
-AP  
  



	2. some evilness on the train

notes: aaaah, more evil-ness. Its starting to become   
a theme,ne? Oh yah, guess who got a role in the school  
play? moi! ok, ill stop boasting now ^^ ANyway, i   
dont own HP. Im not smart enough ^` Dont sue me...  
i have about 3 dollors in pennies, and thats it. =)   
Anyway, story ho!  
  
Chapter One: being evil on the Hogwarts Express  
  
  
Ahh, train sweet train.  
  
Well, not really, but Im good at pretending. Its old   
and smells like old card board. It creaks alot,too.   
But I guess its alright. Anyway, it seems Goyle and   
Crabbe just entered with Pansy. What an annoying   
shadow of a female! She was alright, evin likeable,   
untill she started that simpering thing. I know im   
irrisistable (theres that arrogance again. ^^ Darco   
will be Draco ~^), but is it really neccisary to   
flutter your eyelashes 150 times in a minute? How   
the hec do they do that,anyway?  
  
As i was saying, they just entered. Goyle and Crabbe   
arnt really as bad as alot think. Crabbe is actually   
relitivially intelligant. Well, he is untill you give   
him too much to drink. Then hes just plain entertaining!  
You havnt lived untill youv seen Crabbe in a in a   
bunny costume, man! And a pink bunny costume, at that.   
Pure, evil, enjoyment.  
  
Oh...im so horrible at sticking to a subject. But oh   
well. Youl just have to deal with it, wont you.(buwaha!   
The power of being a fic chick! hear my evil laugh!   
*laughs evily*) Oh, pansy is simpering again. I swear,   
wheres my handy dandy frying pan (1) when I need it?  
The woman-or rather, rat in a fashionable outfit (2)-   
never quits.  
  
"Oh,Draco, iv missed you," simpers Rat Girl. 'Oh draco   
iv missed you', honestly! You and every other sensable   
chick! Stand in line! Im sure more attractive woman will   
simper in a non-disgusting way!  
  
"Pansy," i growl as a greeting. Ugh. Rat girl is waering   
the most awful pink robes. She makes Lochart seem tolorable.   
Now theres a guy that needs mental help.  
  
Well,well,well. It seems Potter and his pose have entered   
the train. I can hear Granger from here, at the back of the   
tarin. She may be a annoying know-it-all, but i gotta admitt   
she has lungs. Its too bad her voice is so...well...  
know-it-all.  
  
"We have to study twise as hard this year," Granger proclamed.   
Oy, vey! If she says "study" one more time im gonna puke!  
"You can never study enough," Granger added. Grr! That just   
isnt cool! Im all nautious now!  
  
Sneering, I have loads of practice, so it doesnt evin hurt  
anmore (YAHOO!),I saunter over to Potter. O yippie, its time   
to be evil on the See How Annoying,Scarcastic and Rude Show!  
Grab your partner and Do-see-do! Or not. Whatever floats your   
boat.  
  
"Well well well. If it isnt Potty. I thought they would have   
at least givin you your own compartment, so you and your filthy   
lil pals wouldnt stink up the air,"I drawl.  
  
O...that was most definately a 10 on the "your a (BLEEP)(BLEEP)"  
scale! Yippie skippie!  
  
If i jigged, i would. Unfortunitly, im freash out of shiny buckled   
shoes.  
  
"Sod off," Potty says. Hmm...wonder how many times hes said   
that to me. I mean, he the freakin boy-who-lived. Youd think   
hed have better retorts than 'sod off'. Honestly! Use a lil   
imagination there, potty! Jeez!  
  
I sneer and say "What, no smart lil retort, potty?"  
  
Fuzz-ball Granger sniffs delcately. Snicker! Thats chick   
couldnt be nice and delicate if she tryed. Delicate   
people are suposed to be ignorrant. I think. Mabie.   
Hell, i dont know.   
  
See? Delicate people are ignorant.   
  
Weasly snorts. His sister's nose fleres. Whoo! What a babe!   
Er, uh..i mean...(heh heh...couldnt help myself. Im a major  
fire and ice-ginny/draco- fan. ^~)  
  
"You guys arent evin worth my time. Really, you could   
pretend you have a brain." I sneer again (three in a row!   
Yippie skippie!). Keeping my nose in the air, i stalk from   
the compartment.  
  
The rest of the train ride flys by without incident. It was  
infinately boring (heh heh...had to put that in there, eh,  
Allison?).  
  
Finially, Hogy-warts comes into view and we all get out  
and clmaber into carredges. And not evin manly carredges.   
Little blue ones, like one you expect to see in some muggle  
fairy tale (Bippity boppity boo, Draco dear!). Youd think   
they would have the edcency to make them a more dark  
color! Grr to them. But anyway....  
  
Ahh, finially its time to go INTO Hogy-warts. The Great Hall  
stone floor is somewhat coforting to my feet as i go over to  
the Slytherin table to wait out the feast. Firts, theres the sorting.  
  
"Allan, Hugh!"  
  
Ew! look at thyat dudes hair! Definately Hufflepuff.  
  
"HUFFLEPUFF!"  
  
Oh yah! Whos the man!  
  
"Abec, Anna!"  
  
Yahoo! Make her a slytherin! Shes cute!  
  
"GRYFFNDOR!"  
  
O, hat, how i lothe the!  
  
"Bottney, Cannon!"   
  
O gross...let me guess, buddy- your robes belonged to your   
great-grandfather!  
  
"RAVENCLAW!"  
  
And so it went, on and on, with a "GRYFFINDOR!" here,  
a "SLYTHERIN!" there, and alot of "HUFFLEPUFF!"s, untill  
the last lil first year was called.  
  
"Zraci, Vrai!"  
  
A tiny girl with a face as white as snow and black,black hair   
walked up to the hat. She looked like she wassnt stong   
enough to pick the thing up. A few minutes passed in   
thoughtfull silance, then:  
  
"SLYTHERIN!"  
  
And so the sorting was over, Vrai came and sat down, and  
it was time to eat. Yahoo!   
  
After purging myself on pumpkin juice, treacle tart, turkey,  
lamb chops, salad, jello, and at least a dozen other things, i   
got up and started towards the Common Room.  
  
People think that, just because our common room is in the   
dungeon, the Slytherin Commons are cold. Fools, the lot of   
them. Sure, its a bit drippy, but warm none the less. I plop onto  
a forest green cheise lounge (3) and pull out th Daily Prophit.   
I dont actually read the thing-i know about the importnant   
stuff WAY before they do- but the comics are amusing. I   
read about a cat with magical powers that mates Fridays for  
a while, and then i go off to bed.  
  
Another year at Hogwarts. Oh yippie skippie.  
  
ANs:  
(1)handy dandy frying pan- just a spiffy saying ^^  
(2)rat in fashionable outfit- off od sex in the City  
(3) chaise lounge- a kind of long couch, where ladies used to   
faint back in the day. 


End file.
